“Girl Friend” versus “Best Friend”
Let’s consider a scenario in which relatively mature, college malefolk is in a relationship with his female counterpart (ie, girlfriend). Let’s also assume that this boy’s very best friend is also a female. Heh, you probably know where I’m going with this topic.
Is it fair for the girlfriend to be irrationally upset at her boyfriend for having a female “best friend”, or should she trust her boyfriend enough to not feel threatened by the other girl in his life?
I’m going to leave this post short because I want your feedback, but I’ll briefly offer my perspective. It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a girl, you’re naturally going to be possessive over your counterpart. This is just an intuitive greed we have for those we value in our lives. With this in mind, I can also speak from first hand experience about trusting a loved one. Riya talks to a lot of my guy friends now that she’s at HBU without me. Does she consider them her “best friends?” Well, quite frankly, I could care less. I know that at the end of the day, she’ll come running back to me. That’s all that matters. Life is too short to be caught up in worrying about your loved ones betraying you. Trust them, and the favor shall be returned. Plus, the guys she talks to have already earned my respect, and I know they appreciate my friendship enough not to betray me. And if you’re reading this saying “that’s what you think, Rishi!”…. come to the dark alley behind the dark building at midnight. Riya will be there.
…but so will my fists. 
Now, what do you think?
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I completely agree with you. Relationships should be based on trust, and I’m glad ours is :o). I do talk to more guys than girls, but I also come home and tell you alllll about it! I’m not saying I never get jealous (and I tell you when I am) and reassurance is always appreciated. But keep in mind, not every guy out there thinks the same way you do. :o)
Good point Rishi. For a relationship to work, there must be trust, attention, and honesty. The thing is, in my experience, a girlfriend is also your best friend. Every guy will always get jealous up to a certain extent when your “girl” is talking to XYs. However, as you say, when you have a girl won, you have nothing to worry about if you are doing the right things and she runs back to you always. My best guy friend is a Colombian christian with lots of integrity, but I talk to more girls than guys. My phone is proof of that! My bestfriend in the female sense is never jealous of who I talk to. LOL.
As long as Rishi keeps being himself, you will always have Riya. Let’s face it, not only do women like geniuses, they also love humble, nice, kind, honest, chilvarous, brave, and caring individuals. Nobody says “NO” to a Prince Hector of Troy. Wish I was one.
I agree Rishi, in order for a relationship to work there must be trust. Jealousy is part of being human. We ALL have jealousy regardless of who we are because we all have little insecurities whether is is insecurity about for intelligent, our body, and our looks. This is why plastic surgeon and psychologist made so much money. Some guys has more friends who are girls and some girl had more friends who are guys. I have more guy friends because I am not interested in gossiping or talking about movie, celebrities, and etc rather I am more interested in talking about medical ethic, religion, politics, and philosophy. But my boyfriend can still trust me and we had a long distance relationship. As I say I read about people who remain faithful to their love one regardless of years. There are women who remain faithful to their husbands for years when they go off to war and I know men who will never married again after their wife died because the remain faithful to the marriage beyond death. I guess trust and love have to go together. I think you and Riya have that.
Interesting topic, Rishi
I think in the end, being jealous isn’t going to enhance your relationship nor your own feelings. It comes down to trust, and that just means the end will either be wonderfully successful or it’s going to burn like hell. I just don’t see it worthwhile to be half in it and half out, what’s the point if neither party is really “there”. It’s seems like you are, mathematically speaking, increasing your chances of it turning out bad (less trust) without increasing the magnitude of the upside. The “volume” quickly becomes negative, and the alternative (no relationship at all) more worthwhile.
Every girl I’ve been a relationship with (and currently) has had a lot of fairly close guy friends. Personally, I think it’s a good thing. Like fyfy said above, she likes talking about and relates to different things. I think this is a Good Thing™. Have I ever been worried? Sure. But trust is a beautiful thing.
“Let’s face it, not only do women like geniuses, they also love humble, nice, kind, honest, chilvarous, brave, and caring individuals.”
Lol! Aside from brave, I can attest to the fact that Rishi has upheld these values ever since 6th grade. I’m waiting until he adds “rich” to the list. And, for the record, you have hideous taste in music.
Thanks for the kind words, Stefan! Hey, I can “brave.” For example, I’m brave enough to admit that I liked the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears at one point
Lol, honestly, I’m a top 40 and hip-hop person. The overwhelming majority of my playlist falls under one of those categories, and the rest of it was provided by friends on various occasions. I miss the sixth grade so much! Playing chess during Mrs. Balog’s advisory was fun! 
That’s what you think, Rishi!!! LOL LOL LOL
I know I am late on this..but here goes.
I agree with the gist of your blog. Jealously is natural but it shouldn’t be overwhelming. Trust should ultimately be the core feeling thereby conquering jealousy.
But another situation arises which i have seen more often. It goes like this:
A guy and girl are best friends. And obviously a friend is a reflection of you.
This guy than begins dating a girl. When two people begin to date, more often its because of physical attraction that lights the spark. In this spark they mgiht try to create something that isn’t there. Therefore the guy might for obvious reasons have more in common with his best friend, since she is a reflection of him. And this is why the girl friend gets jealous.
The point of this is..sometimes we do overlook who is best for us. Especially in a young age when we are first getting into the dating world. We somehow overlook that our best friend is indeed a reflection of us, therefore could make a great life partner. Or we “dont see them that way..” but the truth is, anybody you are going to be with should be your best friend. So if your girlfriend becomes your girlfriend first and than your best friend, great! Just make sure you aren’t automatically giving them that title because you are dating. But if you have a best friend you never “saw” in that light, perhaps you should give it some thought before you reject the idea!
I agree with you on general concept of the post, but I am gonna use a cliche to try to demonstrate my point: “Trust but verify”.
No, I am not suggesting that your gf is cheating on you or you should be so possessive that you install GPS in cell phone to track her moves, but you can not deny the fact that majority of marriages in USA are being tarnished b/c of adultery. If you love (or like may be well suited word) her enough, you must be willing to “fight” for her. A tiny amount of jealousy that does not impede your relationship would be healthy IMHO. It would serve as a check on your or her potential desires.
That is my 2 cents….