There’s a Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints church opening up right outside of Waterside Estates, and two relatively young missionaries visited my house today on behalf of the church. As the doorbell rang, I noted two men dressed formally with a portfolio and briefcase at their disposal. Okay, don’t get me wrong, but I was disappointed when they weren’t from the Publisher’s Clearing House Prize Patrol saying I had won a million dollars and didn’t have to work for the rest of my life. As soon as I opened the front door, their facial expressions quickly shifted to a nervous “please-don’t-hurt-me” look. What I previously thought was a portfolio was actually a collection of notes on the Book of Mormon. At that point, I knew exactly who they were and what their purpose was.

In a ridiculously broken and uneasy voice, the two simultaneously rejoiced:

We’re missionaries spreading the word of our Lord Jesus Christ!

Now don’t get me wrong. I seriously envy those with faith. Those who are passionate about following their Lord in the pursuit of living a better life. Those who accept scripture (in this case, specifically the Book of Mormon) as the written word of God. But for those who know me well enough, my religious views are greatly influenced by scientific fact. Since I was at home, I happened to be wearing a cutoff shirt which exposed my Hindu (”om”) necklace. They quickly got a glimpse of that and asked me my religion. 

Oh, this is an “om” necklace. It’s a symbol of Hinduism, of which I’m a follower.

Again, a frantic stare of disbelief… as if I said I was the devil incarnate or something. After having explained that I went to a Catholic pre-school and Baptist university, the two men were significantly relieved. They continued to talk about their religion while I stood there, nodding away, thinking about the Colts’ football game which I was watching prior to this engagement. I kind of felt bad. I didn’t want to tell them “sorry, I’m not interested”, but I also wanted to convey the fact that they were better off talking to one of my Christian neighbors. Eventually, the conversation got to a point where they asked me a final question.

Would you be interested if there was a decisive way to show you that Christianity is the true religion?

That put me over the edge, and I basically thanked them for their time and bid them farewell. So take note - do not try to convert me. It’s a waste of your time, and you will lose. Also, if you ever want to educate someone about your religion, never claim that you can prove it’s true.

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